Chapter 57
People bore me.
Well, most people,
They’re just predictable. They spend their lives trying to be seen as a good friend, brother, sister, mother, father or partner and yet they are quick to throw others under the bus to protect themselves. I suppose that’s why I find them a waste of my time. Because people are predictable.
For the most part.
I realised pretty early on that I wasn’t like most people. Sure I had loving parents and siblings. I was raised in a sovin home where I was given everything I wanted. But despite all the affection I received, I could never meet it with the tame authenticity as others. I held the same level of affection for my family as I did for a complete stranger and I am okay with
that.
My mother says it’s because I’m just reserved. One therapist said I was emotionally unavailable. I take after my grandfather apparently although I’m not sure what that truly says about him or me. I remember he was a cold person even towards nana. Why she stayed with him I will never know because the old man could be cruel in many different ways. I was in awe of the suffering he could inflict and he managed to do it so flawlessly that it wasn’t until it was too late that you realised what had happened.
I used to tell myself I wasn’t like him but the older I got, the less I cared or worried about it. Did it really matter? Besides, he’s dead and I’m not. Comparing myself to a dead man seems pointless and morbid.
I learnt pretty quickly to blend in with the crowd. Smile. Compliment. Align yourself with your enemies. Learn to be a friend, a doting child, attentive lover, a good student.
Just smile. Be a Chameleon. Don’t let them ever see that it’s all an act. Certainly don’t let the darkness take control.
I think Dexter got it right when describing that darkness. The Dark Passenger. That inky blackness that simmers in the deepest parts of me like toxic smoke. I’ve always felt it there, like an old friend or an addiction that sometimes you have a handle on but can easily slip through your fingers like sand to drown you until you give in. Oh I have given in a few times as well. It’s why I am now stuck in a bog–standard high school. My grip on my darkness took time to master and unfortunately that part of me has resulted in me having to move schools.
My parents‘ cheque book would have you believe it was a mutual parting of ways. No child of their would have their record muddied with expulsion.
Luckily, being from the Winters family automatically gave me popularity in any school I attend but while I had friends and girlfriends, it all just felt like I was going through the motions. In truth my friends and their mindless obsession with trivial things bored me. My girlfriends with their obsessions with selfies or the Kardashian sisters was tedious. Even my parents and siblings left little in the way of an impression on me.
Surely if these people couldn’t stir something in me then strangers would have no chance. For the most part I was right as well. Tutors, coaches, the barista in Starbucks meant nothing to me. Once, I got a tutor fired just because I didn’t like the way they looked. I pushed a kid down some stairs when he wouldn’t let me copy his test answers. None
matter.
seemed to
Then Elenore Ramirez appeared.
Ellie.
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Chapter 57
Sweet little ENIC.
The first thing I noticed was her big brown eyes. She looked like a lost little puppy looking for a home. She was shy and
move. She was like a little bird and I was the grizzly cat eager to ensnare her in my jake but i quiet but I noticed her every instead of gobbling her up, I wanted to trap her in a cage and keep her all to myself
There isn’t anything particularly special about Ellie and in all honesty, if she disappeared tomorrow I wouldn Ceme. 16 forget about her in a week or maybe less. However I saw something in her that intrigued me. It was something that stifted that black mass inside of my mind and piqued my interest.
Chapter Comments
Debbie Ward
He is a psychopath. They have no empathy.
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