Chapter 216
Chapter 216
“Phoebe seems a little high–maintenance,” Ansley says, as he drags an armored box over to us.
“She is and she’s not. She likes nice shit and for people to be straightforward. Phoebe makes everything fun. Even if she’s not feeling well or is stressed to the max, she won’t take it out on you, and it takes a lot for her to lose her temper.
“She’s especially good with the kids. They see everything and understand more than we all care to admit, but she doesn’t let it overwhelm her. She can think her way out of just about anything without resorting to violence. She’s capable of it, but it’s not something she relies on.
“You came at a very inopportune time to her. I never thought I’d see her snap like that. That was all her, not the wolf. They hurt her more than she let on, and it’s a shame. She’s going to give those people everything they have ever wanted and more.”
“It would have happened eventually. You can’t protect her from everything, Nathan.”
“It doesn’t mean that I have to go out of my way to show her how bad things are. We were raised to be what we are, Ans. Dad taught us to be weapons so that what happened to him wouldn’t happen to us. Just because she’s as powerful as she is doesn’t mean we have to exploit her for that. Teaching her how to stand up and defend herself is more than enough.”
“So, how do I make it up to her?” she dismisses me, clearly not agreeing with that.
“She is going to match your energy. The dumber you act around her, the more you’ll get that same reaction. She’s going to treat you the same way you treat her, and the little shit is really good at playing games.”
“This is my fault,” she hands me a sig. It looks like a toy in my hand, “It slipped, and I should never have let her in the car with me.”
“You don’t mean that,” I crouch down next to her and reach for literally anything else.
I’m caught off guard when she leans into me and rests her head on my shoulder. Buddy surfaces cautiously. We’ve tried to let her in before, and it’s cost us a lot. She shakes her head and covers her face. Her sadness smells like kettle corn to me, with extra salt. I place my hand on her head. I’ve never seen
her cry before.
“I don’t know how to be a real person,” she sniffles. “All I’ve ever done is listen to what Dad ordered, I was expected to do everything you left behind. He told us that having a mate was a weakness, and when I refused to accept Phoebe, he was livid. Then it became about telling him to fuck off.”
“You don’t have to do what he says anymore. He’s a rogue and you’re the alpha,” I remind her. “He has no say in anything involving the packs,”
She sits down all the way and begins to laugh. Her face is flushed, and her eyes are rimmed red. I’ve never seen her look this vulnerable. Relief floods through me, along with a whole host of unwanted thoughts.
Old reflexes, really.
It would be so easy for me to reach out and rip the part of her that belongs to us out. The part of me that would complete us. I push those thoughts deep down and take a seat with her. I hand her the travel pack of tissues I carry for Ayrie and offer it to her.
Maybe it’s an old reflex for her as well because it takes her a moment to realize what I’m doing. Slowly, she reaches to take it out of my hand. She cleans herself up and hands it back to me with a little smile on her face.
“You’re really a father,” she sighs. “Who would have thought?”
“You know how we never got to do kids‘ stuff growing up? I am having the time of my life. Sometimes I question my entire existence because of what comes out of their mouths. Other times, I’m reminded that what we went through wasn’t normal or right. When I see them, all I want is for them to never
have to go through what we did.”
“How do you know?”
“What?”
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12:40 Sat, Aug
Chapter 216
“That what you’re doing is correct. How do you know you haven’t taken it too far?”
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“I follow her lead. Phoebe is incredibly kind, considering what she ultimately became. Everything we know about silverbacks is wrong. Or maybe not, but she’s not like they describe in the books. Neither are the pups.
“You know Ayrie can code small things? She can use the complex programs Perry desigried. She’s five. Aizen has exceptional skills in editing. You’ve seen their social media page, right?”
“Yeah,” she grins.
“He does that on his own. She directs him, and he adds his magic to it. His handwriting is better than mine, and he’s a little beast in training. He loves it. He actually likes being around other people. He invites them in the same way Phoebe does.”
“You sound like you’re doing better,” she flicks my ear playfully and pulls her knees up to rest her chin on.
“You know it was the only way I could escape.”
What she said before has been playing in my head. Guilt is not a feeling I like revisiting, but it’s back because Phoebe isn’t the only person I tried to abandon. Even apart, we both had a role to play, and I would have left her our father.
“Your escape would have been a full sentence for me, Nate. You were leaving me alone with him again, and this time, you weren’t going to be around to catch any of his attention. That was very cowardly of you,” tears slide down her face.
“No one even gave a shit,” I shrug. “Everyone was just going to let it happen. In the years after I left the pack lands and went rogue, the more missed everyone, the better their lives were without me in it.
“Ever since the order in my head broke, I can think more clearly. There’s more space to see what’s in front of me and confront the problem. I’m not distracted. I’m not in constant fear of losing control. You don’t understand, Ansley.
“It was like living submerged in water. If I moved even just a little, I’d sink. I was so tired of living like that. No matter how far I was from her, the urge to hunt never went away.” I pull my sleeve up to show her what’s under the ink. She reaches for me and stares up at me, horrified. “I have a high tolerance for silver, because I’d inject myself during the full moons so that I wouldn’t go after her in my sleep. You’re right. It was cowardly of me. I was just so done with being brave. I needed this shit to stop.”
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