Chapter 201 Isolation.
Noelle POV
I’m used to being alone, why was I so mad all of the sudden? Right because for the last ten years, I didn’t have to spend time alone, I was surrounded by people all the time. But before that, the fourteen years before those ten, I was alone, I know I had a sister but she was away for a while, and I was much younger than her, and now we’re here, I’m trying to act okay, I’m trying to be okay, but damn I’m not.
I’m surrounded by people, and yet I’ve never felt more alone. Their voices blur into background noise laughter, chatter, footsteps but none of it reaches me. No one looks my way. No one notices I haven’t spoken in hours, I was taken away from my friend group, I was pushed into another schedule, which was a big hit to my daily life, now I’m all
alone.
The reason why they pushed me away, why they had me put in isolation is because they think that I’m going to cause more troubles, that I’m going to start more fights, but I wasn’t but they didn’t care.
Mateo, and Ezra weren’t allowed to visit me either, I didn’t receive any letters from my family, no phone calls nothing. Even my anger management class, I had to take it with another group, this group looked and sounded like a group of serial killers, they weren’t normal people, they were angry people, and now it all made sense to why Phoebe was never afraid of us, we sounded like angry puppies compared to this bunch.
She didn’t try to push me to talk, she didn’t call my name, and I was
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quiet, I’d sit in the class and nod when I have to, talk when talked to, and then I was only allowed to go to my room and the cafeteria.
Even my late showers has been forbidden, so there’s no chance for me to see Jessie by coincidence or anything, I had to use a different bathroom and I had a time to go to so I can shower early in the morning, which meant I’m going to bed dirty, and I feel all itchy and restless because I need a damn shower.
You’re probably wondering what about the psych I was seeing that must have helped, someone to talk to, but guess what, even that is a privilege that was taken away from me.
I did what Brookyn said, that I need to show them that I can be a team player, that I’m friendly, they don’t need to be scared of me, but the thing is, no body fucking care, no one gives two shit about me or the rest of us in this place, we are the forgotten ones.
I had to spend another day like this, I woke up on time, and then I went to the bathroom, my hair was itchy, and I smelled like shit, I know I don’t spend much time running or doing physical activity, but I hate the feeling of sitting the whole day in my clothes and not change and wash up before sleeping.
I got under the hot water and did a quick job to rubbing my scalp with my nails getting it clean, I don’t care about any kind of injuries or scratching, it’ll heal in an hour or two, so nothing to worry about. I was quick, I was in and out in just minutes, I don’t trust the other wolves in here, one of the wolves who are here with me is one who drowned her kid because she didn’t feel connected to it, the judge called postpartum depression and she was shipped over here for the last five years, and just so we’re clear, she didn’t feel sorry about what happened.
I ran back to my room and got dressed, brushed my hair, and looked at
Chapter 201 Isolation.
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myself in the mirror, I looked different, in the last three months I have lost so much weight, my cheeks were sinking in, my eyes has lost all shine, they were dull and dead, my hair doesn’t have any shine anymore, I just roll it into a bun and call it a day.
I don’t have any make up here, I don’t have clothes to change into and have fun with, we don’t have anything in here, just loneliness and the pitty we feel toward each other.
I did all I did for my family, for my sister, her son, my friends, to revenge the lost ones, but now it feels like everyone has moved forward, the world is still moving for them, the earth is turning, the sun rise and set, but I’m stuck in one day that’s always on repeat, there’s nothing new in my life, it’s just dull and gray.
It’s not the loneliness that hurts the most, it’s being the one they all forgot, like I was never part of the story to begin with.
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