Mia POV
“I should go home,” Levent says with a sigh, we have spent most of the night together. he was with*mme the whole day and then he came home with me, and I didn’t want him to leave. I know wolves can’t get drunk on human alcohol but I sure as hell felt a bit drunk right now, maybe it’s a mix of fear, of the whine, and the moonlight. But who am I lying to? Myself, of course, I’m drunk on him, on his look, his smile, his eyes, I wished he was the one, I wished I have met him before seeing Rex, before getting with him, before everything.
“Do you?” I ask him with big wide eyes, I just want him to stay, to hang back and stay with me.
“Yeah, I do, it’ll look weird for Noelle if I stay,” he says coming up with an excuse to why he can’t stay here, but I could talk to Noelle, Ellie loves him, she won’t mind if he stays over the night.
“I’ll talk to her, she won’t mind.” I assure him.
“Well, Mia, there isn’t any space for me to sleep and I don’t want to crash on your couch, it’ll look weird,” he says breaking my heart, damn small house.
We can just throw Ellie out of the room and share the bedroom, me and him, that’s what I was thinking, but thankfully I didn’t say out loud, I can’t imagine how weird it’ll be if I said those words out loud, I sound desperate even to my own ears. So I stayed quiet and let him leave, I stayed behind in the house and let him leave, I went to bed in the room I shared with my younger sister and tried to sleep.
I have money now, I’m saving up, I need a car first, but next step is
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Chapter 143
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going to be getting a bigger house, I can rent one from the pack, I don’t need to buy, and I can’t stay here. I need one with three bedrooms. Wait, no, no need for three bedrooms, he could just sleep in my room every time he decides to stay over, I’d love for him to sleep in my bed close to me, feeling his warmth.
I groaned, Ellie flipped around in her bed and I had to put both hands over my mouth to keep myself quiet, damn sharing room with a younger sister, I can’t even dream and groan in peace.
Goddess, if you’re hearing me, don’t let my heart get attached to him if I can’t have him, please goddess, I can’t take another heart break. I prayed in my heart and then closed my eyes forcing myself to shut down and sleep, it’s a skill I had to learn while living with Rex, forcing myself to sleep to escape everything was one of the few skills that kept me alive.
The next morning, I did my regular routine, I woke up from sleep that’s filled with nightmares, dreaming of Rex, of losing my parents, of the old alpha and his pack, it’s always the same dreams that are repeating every single time. After that, I get out of the warm bed, to wash my face, brush my teeth, get dressed, make breakfast for Ellie, and maybe eat a bite before Levent gets here and we have to get to work, we’re acting normal like nothing is going on, like if Rex wasn’t near us.
I had to stop everything I’m doing and breath, I didn’t have the chance to go to a real therapist, but mom did some research and found breathing exercises to help out with my anxiety and nightmares, she taught them to me, and I’m doing just those now. I breathed in for a few seconds, held the breath in for the same amount, and let it out using the same time count. I repeated that exercises around five times before my heartbeat dropped, and my breathing got even again, now that I’m thinking straight again, I know that the whole pack is out there keeping an eye out for me, they have patrol who checked on us through the night to make sure we’re okay and not to try and hit on us or bully us into doing something we didn’t want to do.
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“Morning, what did you wake up and decide to be a statue?” my sister asks from behind me, making me jump, I didn’t hear her wake up.
“How long you been standing there?” I ask her instead.
“Long enough to see you freezing” she answers me.
“I’m fine, was just lost in my own thoughts,” I assure her.
“If you say,” my sister comments, not believing my answer, but it’s fine, she doesn’t need to know everything about me.
I finished making breakfast and made sure that she ate, I need her to be healthy, since mom and dad died, she hasn’t been eating much, and we’re back to teaching her healthy eating habits. I ate along with her, just a couple bites here and there, to encourage her to eat, while waiting for Levent to get here so we can get to work.
“Good morning girls,” Levent says coming into our home.
“Morning, want coffee?” I ask him with a big smile on my face, a smile that’s just for him, smiling has became easier since the day we met.
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