Thankfully, I wasn’t the one reading the names, I was just standing, shaking hands, giving them my best smile, but I didn’t have much to give, and since all of them knew what happened to me; they’d just nod their heads to me and tell me how strong I am to be here for them now. Some of them knew me from back home, in the Snow pack, others got to knew me through the last four years, and they grew to respect me and respect what I’m doing here and for whom.
“Lotus Green Savage, my flower,” I say getting the honor of calling her name instead of Thalia, she came on the stage, and I gave her the diploma, shook her head, and she gave me a hug, a real honest hug that she’s been giving me like one every month or so, she knows I need those and so she’d give me one every now and then.
“Congratulations,” I whisper to her, before letting her go and going back to the rest of the students.
Once the ceremony ended, there was a big party that I decided not to attend, too much happiness for my sad little soul, I left the academy and went home first, to drop my car and drop off all of this stupid uniform, I felt like it’s hard to breath wearing all of these. I took them all off and threw them on the bed, the room was a mess, I’d tidy it up maybe once a week, and then it’ll be messy all over again in a few days and I’ll forget about it until my day off.
I put on some light clothes, and then I got out of the house, I ran toward her grave, I need to tell her all about it, I need to tell her about her Flower, and I wanna see how she’d react what would she say to me then, I couldn’t wait.
But before I got there I passed by and got her some flowers, she likes
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flowers and I want to keep her happy even in the afterlife, I placed the flowers on her grave and took a seat next to her as I usually do.
“Flower graduated,” I told her, tears starting to fall down my face, I didn’t bother to wipe them off, not here, not in front of her.
“I don’t know what to do now, Viki,” I say out loud meaning it, I don’t know what to do anymore, I was strong, I pulled myself forward only for her, for the daughter of my mate, but she’s done studying, she doesn’t need me anymore, so what should I do next.
“Victoria, if you were here, we’d travel, if you were here we’d have a full life, but you’re gone,” I say sadly.
“What am I to do without you Viki,” I say petting her grave as if I’m touching her, as if I’m petting my mate.
I told Victoria some more about my day, I told her about the uniform, and I told her how much I hated it, imagining her being here and making fun of my crooked tie maybe or getting jealous over nothing. I would’ve taken anything, I would’ve taken her being angry at me and fighting over anything and everything as long as I got her back.
I stayed at her grave and ended up sleeping there again, I expected to dream of her, I saw the place that we usually meet at, and then I waited and waited, and waited some more for her to come over, and she never
did.
I woke up with a big frown on my face, I was extremely mad at her, why did she ghost me, why did she leave me behind. Maybe she just couldn’t come last night, but tomorrow, she’ll be here, I’m sure tomorrow she’ll be back, I can’t live without dreaming of her, it’s the only line I had left to my sanity.
Flower was home when I went back, she and Damian were ready to pack and leave, and I was happy for them, I gave them hugs, I wished
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them a good trip, I even helped take their suitcases down to the car, I might be trying to get rid of them, I wanted the house all to myself so Viki would start visiting me again.
They left by noon, and I had the house all to myself, so I went toward my bedroom, opened the closet and picked one of her clothes, I took a deep breath, taking in what’s left of her scent, I couldn’t wash any of them, and I’m trying my best to keep them dirt free so I can keep on smelling her every day.
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