Chapter 17
hapter 17
Morning came and before sunrise we were already out.
The courtyard was lined with guards and elders, but no one dared speak. Not after yesterday.
I stood near the Red Fang carriages, my cloak drawn over my shoulders, my father beside me. Liora clutched the edge of my sleeve, humming to herself, her eyes wide with wonder as she gazed around the unfamiliar territory.
Kael stood a few steps behind us. I wanted Beta Żane to join us but he still had to be there for Damien and Nathan.
Damien watched from the hallway. His hands were clenched, his jaw set tight. He hadn’t approached me last night. Not after the unknown visitor he had.
And now I was leaving, with Kael. That seemed to awake a dormant side In him.
He stepped forward, forcing each step. He stopped when he got to me.
“Can I see you for a moment?”
I turned to Kael.
He looked at me once, just once, and nodded.
Only then did I respond to Damien.
I glanced back. “It’s fine.”
Kael didn’t like it. I saw it in his eyes, but he stepped away without a word, folding his arms near the carriage.
I walked past him and followed Damien toward the side garden.
We stopped near the old bench. I didn’t sit. Neither did he.
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to… thank you.”
I waited.
“For asking your father to spare me,” he said, his eyes flicking up to mine. “I know you didn’t have
to.”
I didn’t answer.
He shifted. “You’ve changed.”
“No,” I said quietly. “I just stopped been the fool you think I was.”
He nodded slowly. “I never got to thank you properly,” he tried again. “For raising Nathan. For doing all the things no one else could.”
My gaze didn’t soften. “I owe my sister my life and I’ve repaid it. You don’t need to thank me for caring for Nathan.”
“I know,” he said quickly. “And that’s why I’m asking-are you really going to leave him?”
I looked at him, “I already did,” I said. “Months ago. The day he tried to set me on fire.”
Damien flinched.
“I gave him five years,” I continued. “I sang him to sleep. Fed him. Taught him. Carried his tantrums like scars. And in return, he spat poison into my face and smiled while I burned.” “He is just a kid Alice, you can’t keep letting all this draw your back.” Damien said, his voice tight. I chuckled dryly. “He’s not just a kid, Damien. Helena won’t be happy to see what he is now.” “You still have no right to mention Helena’s name.” His voice turned grave then he calmed a bit “You should forgive Nathan.” he said, folding his arms. “Helena would’ve wanted that.” “Now you are admitting to what Helena wants?” I gave him a questioning look which he ignored. “You want me to forgive him because he’s young, but you’re not willing to admit the reason he is the way he is.” I looked at him. “You taught him how to hurt. And now he’s so broken at his age.”
Damien’s lips parted, but nothing came out.
I didn’t wait.
“I’m not his punching bag. Not yours. Not anyone’s.” My voice was steady. “I walked through fire Damien. Not just that day-every day since Helena died. Every time I looked at you and stayed.” He rubbed a hand over his jaw, “You think I didn’t grieve?”
“I think you grieved the idea of her. Not what she left behind.”
He stepped back like the words slapped him.
I looked past him and paused. “Do you know what it felt like, holding Nathan while you mourned someone else? While you forgot I was even in the same house?”
He didn’t answer.
“You never saw me,” I said. “Not as Alice. Not as Helena’s sister. Not as someone trying. Just as someone you wished had burnt in place of Helena.”
“Alice-”
“It’s the truth,” I cut in. “And I’m done asking you to care.”
He ran a hand through his hair, his voice lower now. “I didn’t know what I was doing back then.”
“You still don’t,” I said, stepping away.
He reached for my wrist.
I pulled it free. “Don’t.”
His hand dropped.
“You want redemption?” I asked. “Raise your son better. Teach him something other than rage.”
“Alice-”
“I don’t want your apology,” I said, walking past him. “And I’m not staying for your regrets.”
He didn’t follow me this time.
“Kael….”
I paused to hear what he wanted to say.
“Don’t trust him.” He said and I ignored him walking away.
Chapter 17.
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Kael stood by the carriage, his jaw tight. He looked like he’d been holding his breath since I left.
“I’m fine,” I said as I approached.
He didn’t speak. Just opened the door.
Kael walked around to the other side and climbed in after me. The driver flicked the reins, and the wheels rolled forward.
I leaned against the carriage window, watching Silverclaw fade behind us and the life I had almost given too much of myself to.
“I should’ve burned it down,” I muttered.
Kael glanced at me. “Would’ve made a good headline.”
snorted. “Alice of Red Fang, arsonist extraordinaire.”
He smiled a little.
Liora had already curled up with her head in my lap, her breath soft. I ran a hand through her hair, absentminded.
Kael sat across from us, watching. He looked like he wanted to say something.
So I said it first.
“You don’t need to ask what happened.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“You looked like you might.”
Kael hesitated, then leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.
“You’re not going back, are you?”
I shook my head.
He nodded like he already knew.
“I’m not running anymore,” I said quietly. “But I’m not staying where I’m not seen either.”
Kael looked at me. “Then I’ll go wherever you go.”
hapter 18
